kabhi yun bhi hota...

phir kabhi yun bhi hota..
ki naam mera aata...to tum halka sa muskuraate..
unn silawaton mein..
unn karwaton mein..
unn lafzon mein... jo aankhon mein the...
unn lakeeeron mein ...jo maathe pe the..
woh muskurahat ko tum aaine se chhupate..
aur talashte ,woh sapna jo bikhar gaya tha..

phir kabhi yun bhi hota..
ki tum mudte baar baar ...aur aage chale jaate
uss ped ki chaun mein..
unn paaton ki sarsarahat mein
uss chehre pe lagti hui dhool mein
unn aankhon mein chhubti hui dhoop mein
uss gali mein jahan bhatak gaye the..
iss baar mudd ke tum ruk jaate..
aur dhoondte us haath ko jo kahin chhooth gaya tha...


phir kabhi yun bhi hota..
ki gaana woh bajta radio pe..
toh tum phatt se badal dete...
par fir awaaz yaad karke meri..tum khud hi gun gunaate..
aur dhoondte woh aankhein jo tumse kehti ki 'tum achha gaate ho'

kabhi yun bhi hota...

just an urge to write..

Ab woh shaam kahan jismein ghazal hua karti thi..
bas kuch lafz hai bikhre se....aur khoyi si dhun hai koi..

With a glass of chilled water and some imaginary drops of heaven into it,wintry breeze blowing through my untidy half plaited hair and the sole survivor,Moon ,boastfully shining in the starless cloudy night...here I sit in my 9th floor balcony, amidst the hidden stars and the hundreds of sky-kissing high risen structures....looking for inspiration to dislodge my mind off, the crowd of scattered thoughts.


Poor mind...how much effort it puts in, in escaping the useless and incendiary thoughts that justle it on a daily basis.Alas!it never gets the deserved credit.
There is an incessant flow of thoughts flying around from all over the universe to torment your otherwise callow mind. From 'what to have for breakfast' ,'how did i land up here','what a sick movie','when will i find a job','is he a frnd?','dats a lovely song' to 'i hate that color','where is life going' etc etc..., some unwanted yet harmless,some tottering, and rarely some calming thoughts is what you are challenged with.
It is like being enslaved by a relentless boss who is constantly giving us a job to do.You never have a choice to not choose,the only choice you have is what to chose,and there my friend! sometimes lies the biggest choice of life.
These thoughts have a battleground of their own,inside you, of which you can be a naive spectator or a tyrant judge....again,the choice is yours.
They say 'empty mind,devil's workshop'.But i think you again have a choice before you can put that devil to work..
I personally,tend to get highly influenced by the background score when it comes to such battlegrounds.For e.g sitting in this  soft starlit night,my mind is entrenched enough to ignore the huge pile of books residing on the table and appreciate The night,The music...the joke dat i just read,the friend i just spoke to...the sumptuous dinner i had...and other small yet gratifying things about life.
On the contrary,in a jam-packed,stuck in traffic,hot afternoon...your mind is already debilitated and easily falls prey to anything and everything negative around. The long call you had with your friend..now becomes 'what a waste of talktime on that loser',that sumptous meal becomes 'tasteless calorie intake' and that joke becomes ' wasteful sense of humour'.hmmmm......strange how the mind works.


There is no freedom from thoughts,and there shall never be....but u r blessed with the power to escape and reject.
With all the non-sense out..i feel as though i have conquered atleast 10%  of this untamed,animal like mind.
PEACE!!

Life in a Metro...

So as my stint with survival in Delhi continues...this city doesn't stop entertaining me with its unending fables. Now,if i step out of my house and turn the writer switch ON inside my mind..i could spot a story everywhere,but the most colorful amalgam of lives that i encounter on a daily basis, is in the DELHI METRO.

No matter what time of the day or which day of the week it is,i can count on my fingers the varieties of groups that the people(mostly female as i travel in the ladies compartment) can be categorised into.
The one that unmistakably catches my sight as soon as i enter belongs to the 'nayi naveli dulhan' cateogary.Now  you are bound to find atleast one from this group while you are lurking in that 'packed to breathlessness' crowd.Again...no matter what time or venue she is travelling to she would be dressed up in the most lustrous attire  and fangling accessories which leaves you with an impression that her whole and sole aim while she was getting dressed was to either blind people or to promote sunglasses.From her bindi to the 'chooda' to the 'lipistik' to the uncomfortably high(although no1 would agree)heels everything has to have a invariably dazzling effect or else she would be declared a misfit and outcast from the whole population belonging to this category.

Moving on....this female is one of my favourites ,and as homosexual as this may sound, i literally check her out from head to toe everytime i lay my eyes on her.She is a 'chalta firta ' fashion magazine.She has that constant arrogant uppity look on her face..and i dont believe myself saying this..but it suits her.If i spent 2 mins on observing any other specimen, I am graciously going to spend my 10 precious mins on this well deserved candidate.Her eye-liner,nail-paint,footwear,earings,clips etc have to be in perfect contrast to her neatly-picked dress from the unending supply of her gigantic wardrobe.Straightened hair is no luxury anymore so  i should not even care to mention it.With my lost enthusiasm ,of caring to 'match' stuff..i still manage to appreciate her without being judgemental ,of the fact that she might be having  nothing better to do than spent hours in front of the mirror(yes..i had to get that out of my system).She gives a miffed look of discomfort to her fellow passengers as she carries on with her useless texting on her PINK color covered Blackberry(probably she is putting up an fb update about her newly bought 'louis vuitton').

Before going any further...please DONOT excuse me for my lambast exaggeration ...coz thats where the fun lies.:)
Next up is this quiet li'l chick who supposedly doesnt care about being noticed like her fellow mate...but astonishingly stands out.She is wearing a faded denim with a carelessly worn Tee and a sling bag to go.Strands of her hair falling all over her face managing to create the 'casual and messed up' look which btw is thoroughly intensional.
What i fail to relate is that howcome most of the chicks belonging to this category are anorexic.Neverthless...with her boldly spread kajal covered eyes she is peeking into a novel which again would either fall into the category of Sydney Sheldon...or Chetan Bhagat(not a fan of either of em....but well thats where the crowd goes)

Lying around here and there like pests are these girls lost in their mobile phones texting endlessly as though they were generating oxygen for survival through it.But this is the group i mostly rely upon for my entertainment.Its fun to watch them soliloquising in between reading of their messages.I have seen 'break ups' and 'pyaar ka izhaars'...'what are u wearing??' and a lot more juicy and censored stuff too...and omg do i love it or what(oh c'mmon...if she is typing right infront of me....it is too tempting to not peek).

There are some less important categories which i mught just touch upon.
That girl who is going home from her freshly finished date ,and you can see that written all over her face because she has still not stopped blushing.
That lady whom i pitty the most as she is always travelling with no. of kids>2 who are flurrying with joy as they enter this crowded playground of theirs.
This category which always travels in groups,loaded with shopping bags and lets u know exactly where the SALE is.
etc etc
If at all i have to put myself into any of the categories...this is the one...we dont do much, and are not worth a sight either so we rather spend our time looking and judging others.And when that gets boring(which it does) we have our earphones...to block ourselves from the eccentricities of life that surround us and enjoy 'THE JOURNEY' :).

so where do i belong...

Good or bad..chosen or imposed..deliberate or sudden..CHANGE is always difficult.
With a acceptance of this not so warm reality i packed my bags from a place that has been 'home' for almost 1 nd half years.
The attachment you have to a place or person is never proportional to the time spent with them,so the figures i mention here are just to emphasize on the irony of the whole situation.
so...from the temporary home of 1 nd half years i return to my HOME of 20 yrs!.Dilli!!
now ever since i have steeped out of delhi...everywhere i go i keep mentioning.. "dilli jaisa koi sheher nahi hai " nd now that i am back...kaisa sheher hai... main khud bhool gayi hun...
kai baar kisi insaan ya kisi jagah se itna pyaar hojata hai ki chahe unmein haazar khamiyan kyun na ho...aap har jagah wohi khaami dhoondne lagte ho...and hence those places and people hold a irreplacable place in your heart.
I wake up at 10am in the morning (which was my nap time while i was employed :p) and just stare at the black screen of my television for 10mins..after which i realize that we do have a facility to turn it on...although it dosent make much of a difference but its good to have some sound...(id rather call it noise) in an EMPTY house so as to WAKE you up.Like a zombie I wander .around in the house still getting use to the placement of the furniture .Finally i settle down with my breakfast prepared ,by 12pm and try to choose the best background noise that  would go with my breakfast from the available options.Oh god ..it was such a tiring job to cook on my own..i think i need a nap and there goes another hour.
With food and sleep being my major tasks of the day...i reach the evevning somehow.And yes...how do i forget fb...i have to give a count of the no. of breaths i took on fb...otherwise hundreds of people might die!!
To grab a li'l frsh air..i stepped out...to take a walk..I have walked on this road a hundred times but it seems it a li'l different this evening..i think its just how you look at it.The idea that i mught be walkin on these streets aimless for quite a long time was taking away the joy of fresh air that i was lookin for.
The people..the streets..the shops..the weather...everything is different here...obviously!its a different city,what else do you expect.
But the radio has so many more stations here,we have a 'golgappe wala' at every corner and the rickshawala dosent give u a killer look if call him 'bhaiya'....so its all good.
finally...the day ends with a delicious home cooked dinner with mom and dad...and a disgusting marathi serial on TV which i couldn't care less about...but mom dad made sure that i knew the whole story so i dont feel left out :)
and here iam blabbering to myself ..
DAY1 @Delhi ends....