There isn't a more gratifying task than categorically judging people , and that is what I resort to in the times of deepest despair.
So, I have once again dared to believe that I can lose weight.Which btw is impossible without having spent so much money that it aches my pockets enough, to give me sleepless guilt-full nights.
One week old, I have visited the gym at all possible timings and have covered all the categories by and large.Though I have hardly lost some 555 grams ,but since the unpaid lame journalist inside me is eager to rant, I must educate all of you with my findings.
1. 'Pari hoon Main'
Yeah,I could not think of a better way to to describe her.She is so damn lite it feels like gravity is doing her some favor by letting her stand.Every time she is running on a treadmill next to me , I feel like immediately hogging some food down her throat to make my existence justifiable.As much as I try, I am never able to empathize with people of her category.So yeah...you can ask for 'extra cheese' without having people look at you with humiliation enough to disturb your digestion . You do not have an untouched section of clothes in your wardrobe that you dream you'll be able to wear one day....must be a sad life!
2.Muscle Uncle!
So while all the other Grandpas are taking a nap at home,he is the next Arnold Schwarzenegger in making.
Now,is it just the gym I go to,or their population is rising among the affluent class I am not very sure of.
Out of respect I would not be able to comment much on this category, but I tend to look. through escaping gazes in pure amazement.So..Mr. Muscle Uncle i understand your liking for fitness,but you are no 'curious case' understand that, and let alone those heavy weights.
3.His Royal Sweatiness ...padampada....
Yeah ..the whole point of coming to the gym is to sweat it out, but dude, you just arrived!
4.Mirror mirror on the wall!
Mr. SnowWhite if you are done with drooling over your own overgrown, protein inflated muscles please move on. This mirror has to pay heed to many such self-appreciating beast-like men.
5. Aunty ji aunty ji...shut up and Run!
From the increasing expenditure on grocery to the latest updates she got from the wedding she attended last night.All the discussion must happen within those 20 mins on the treadmill ,ad-mist the sweating and the abnormal breathing. As less as I care ,but I end up knowing her husband's favorite food, her kid's school timings and much more educative information of the likes.
6.From Milan ...with love
Ok, so these are the bunch of gals I hate a li'l more than the milkman who wakes me up at 5:30 in the morning ...arrrghh!!
Coming back to the point, she would be spending more time on dressing up for the gym than working out IN the gym.
Not to mention, joining the gym was preceded by a week-full of shopping for the 'gym look. 'Obviously ,she is dressed from top to bottom in high end brand clothes.If you are going to the gym, and there aren't enough cuts and holes in your garment to reveal the brand of each layer, you are so sadly unaware of gym etiquette. The point behind applying coats of make-up while working out, people like me who barely wake up and walk in like a zombie would just fail to understand.
7.Volume kam kar!
Irrespective of the age, there are always some people who are shouting at the top of their voice while lifting weights.While I am shamelessly resting in-between my workout, these guys would scare the hell out of me with the annoying noises they make.
8.Self-Talker
"C'mmon you can do it!
Just one more!
You know you can do it!"
hahahah....I dunno what to say ...you thought 'talking to oneself' is practiced only in Ekta Kapoor serials...nah!
This is one funny sight to watch :)
9. Hotness has no age!
Nothing funny about them. I am just in complete awe of these 40 somethings that make my each day truly inspirational.God knows if they have been secretly blessed, but I cannot imagine looking half as fit and pretty as them. That mother of two lady has got such a fab figure and glowing skin that she makes that Santoor ad seem real. And that 45-47 year old guy( yeah nobody can call him 'uncle') has a got a *ahem* you can't take your eyes off.
10.Last but not the least,aam junta like me of course.
Not knowing what to do. ,We just arrive everyday at the the gym with a hundred myths, whims and fancies and weird concerns. We do create some amount of entertainment with our naive inability to fall into the right place.I 'd rather not expose my stupid behavior publicly....maybe somebody else might be working on it :p
So here's the story of my unsuccessful gym-ing so far.
Now that its done, I have no escape from having to actually do what I am suppose to rather than simply stare people and form opinions :/
Back to sad life...yawn!
So, I have once again dared to believe that I can lose weight.Which btw is impossible without having spent so much money that it aches my pockets enough, to give me sleepless guilt-full nights.
One week old, I have visited the gym at all possible timings and have covered all the categories by and large.Though I have hardly lost some 555 grams ,but since the unpaid lame journalist inside me is eager to rant, I must educate all of you with my findings.
1. 'Pari hoon Main'
Yeah,I could not think of a better way to to describe her.She is so damn lite it feels like gravity is doing her some favor by letting her stand.Every time she is running on a treadmill next to me , I feel like immediately hogging some food down her throat to make my existence justifiable.As much as I try, I am never able to empathize with people of her category.So yeah...you can ask for 'extra cheese' without having people look at you with humiliation enough to disturb your digestion . You do not have an untouched section of clothes in your wardrobe that you dream you'll be able to wear one day....must be a sad life!
2.Muscle Uncle!
So while all the other Grandpas are taking a nap at home,he is the next Arnold Schwarzenegger in making.
Now,is it just the gym I go to,or their population is rising among the affluent class I am not very sure of.
Out of respect I would not be able to comment much on this category, but I tend to look. through escaping gazes in pure amazement.So..Mr. Muscle Uncle i understand your liking for fitness,but you are no 'curious case' understand that, and let alone those heavy weights.
3.His Royal Sweatiness ...padampada....
Yeah ..the whole point of coming to the gym is to sweat it out, but dude, you just arrived!
4.Mirror mirror on the wall!
Mr. SnowWhite if you are done with drooling over your own overgrown, protein inflated muscles please move on. This mirror has to pay heed to many such self-appreciating beast-like men.
5. Aunty ji aunty ji...shut up and Run!
From the increasing expenditure on grocery to the latest updates she got from the wedding she attended last night.All the discussion must happen within those 20 mins on the treadmill ,ad-mist the sweating and the abnormal breathing. As less as I care ,but I end up knowing her husband's favorite food, her kid's school timings and much more educative information of the likes.
6.From Milan ...with love
Ok, so these are the bunch of gals I hate a li'l more than the milkman who wakes me up at 5:30 in the morning ...arrrghh!!
Coming back to the point, she would be spending more time on dressing up for the gym than working out IN the gym.
Not to mention, joining the gym was preceded by a week-full of shopping for the 'gym look. 'Obviously ,she is dressed from top to bottom in high end brand clothes.If you are going to the gym, and there aren't enough cuts and holes in your garment to reveal the brand of each layer, you are so sadly unaware of gym etiquette. The point behind applying coats of make-up while working out, people like me who barely wake up and walk in like a zombie would just fail to understand.
7.Volume kam kar!
Irrespective of the age, there are always some people who are shouting at the top of their voice while lifting weights.While I am shamelessly resting in-between my workout, these guys would scare the hell out of me with the annoying noises they make.
8.Self-Talker
"C'mmon you can do it!
Just one more!
You know you can do it!"
hahahah....I dunno what to say ...you thought 'talking to oneself' is practiced only in Ekta Kapoor serials...nah!
This is one funny sight to watch :)
9. Hotness has no age!
Nothing funny about them. I am just in complete awe of these 40 somethings that make my each day truly inspirational.God knows if they have been secretly blessed, but I cannot imagine looking half as fit and pretty as them. That mother of two lady has got such a fab figure and glowing skin that she makes that Santoor ad seem real. And that 45-47 year old guy( yeah nobody can call him 'uncle') has a got a *ahem* you can't take your eyes off.
10.Last but not the least,aam junta like me of course.
Not knowing what to do. ,We just arrive everyday at the the gym with a hundred myths, whims and fancies and weird concerns. We do create some amount of entertainment with our naive inability to fall into the right place.I 'd rather not expose my stupid behavior publicly....maybe somebody else might be working on it :p
So here's the story of my unsuccessful gym-ing so far.
Now that its done, I have no escape from having to actually do what I am suppose to rather than simply stare people and form opinions :/
Back to sad life...yawn!
